Mystery Topic Uber-Prime

a Peter anti-rant

Back in my turkey-neck of the deep and dark forest, my fellow people always had a question about this time of year: what is the month of November known for? Truly, we would sit, stand, squat, or otherwise hold ourselves together and ponder this all important question.

Now, think … Think … Ponder … Okay, you have an answer?

No. That is not correct.  Just because you might be hungry … Please, if you are indeed hungry, may I suggest that you fix yourself and your neighbors a nice, juicy, thick-cut, pieces of white and dark turkey or tofurkey, with slices of tomahto, pickles, and apricot jam sandwich? Again, what is the month of November known for?

Think … Think … Ask your friends … Think.  Once more, do you have an answer?

Blast it! No! That is not the only thing that the month of November is known for.  Besides, may I remind all of you that in polite conversation we do NOT discuss religion or politics? Oh, okay, maybe a little, very little, political discussion is alright for the soul; but only a little.

Would someone please tell us all what the month of November is known for? Please, someone? Anyone, por favor?

Truly, truly, I say unto you that the month of November is known for National Adoption Month.  Yes, this is the month that everyone thinks about adopting a turkey, killing said turkey, and then eating mass quantities of said turkey.

Wait, this is not right.  What if I am vegetarian? Then, isn’t this the month when we adopt a tofurkey and consume limited quantities of said tofurkey?

Wow; people, stop thinking of food.  Instead, think of the children; yes, I have referred to them as young clones of parental units.  However, this is the time of year when we ALL must think of adopting children.  Why? Why not (I love “why questions” and its automatic “why not” answer)?

America: do you know how many children out there need to be adopted? Do you have even a minute clue as to the number of little ones who would love to join your family and its “unique” set of Thanksgiving traditions? Can you picture, even for a microsecond the number of young children, teen children, older children, and others who would love to occupy that extra room you have in your house, home, apartment, rental, hotel room, or mansion? There are way too many to even contemplate without some emotion … pardon me while I catch my breath, wipe away a tear, and psych myself to continue with this plea.

In today’s world, universe, galaxy, neighborhood, community, mobile home park, or wherever, there are people who would love to adopt, but for whatever reason they do not believe they can.  Likewise, there are people in society who believe that certain people, like members of the LGBT (i.e., Lesbian, Gay, Bi-sexual, and Transgender) communities, cannot and MUST not adopt.  And, there are so many other combinations that are almost comical, theoretical, mystical, and so much more.

Do you know someone who is great with children or young clones? Do you know someone who wants to have a family with two moms or two dads? Do you know someone who has three children but wants a fourth without going through babyhood?

If so, then I have an answer for you.  Please adopt.  Yes, please adopt.  Please take the time to seek out your local adoption agency.  Please seek out a house of worship and see if they can assist you.  Please check online for international adoption agencies; legit ones, okay, as we have all heard about scams and misunderstandings with regard to international adoption.

Thank you for thinking about the other meaning of the month of November; hopefully next year there will only be half as many young clones that need to be adopted as this year.

by Peter S. Lust

Return to Issue 43