letter to my girlfriend while she gives me the silent treatment

remarkable how behavior so
conspicuously distant
can feel so strongly like
an attack.

sometimes I want to grab you by the shoulders hard
and force you to look at me
to see me as I am in that moment:
as wild from need as a man without air.

I want to shake you so it hurts
so you’ll know how I feel.
and yet I know that violence
is a refuge of the powerless

no matter how forcefully I act
I’m not the one pulling the strings.
it makes me remember
I’m not alone in this unhappy place.

you are here with me
suffering too.
the strings that we pull run between us,
we both feel their force.

I must forgive
for even as petty as I am
I can’t think you so wicked
as to love yourself in pain.

by Marcos Soriano

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