I’ve been asked if I ever intend to review a movie I didn’t like. With the cost of a trip to the theater being what it is, I don’t attend a movie unless I’m pretty sure I’ll like it. I seldom hate a movie. However, sometimes I love a movie, sometimes I really like a movie, sometimes I like a movie, and sometimes a movie is … fine. Not “fine” as in wine or china, but “fine” as in a general statement of near neutrality, in which there may be little to complain of, but neither is there much to brag about. Wanted is such a movie.

We are introduced to our hero, office drone Wesley (James McAvoy) when he is making fun of his overweight boss while vegetating in his office cubicle. Wesley is the type of guy who sits and does nothing and then has a panic attack when asked for a report he hasn’t written yet. He hates his job, he secretly hates his best friend who just happens to be sleeping with Wesley’s girlfriend, and he hates his apartment. Wesley hates his life.

He gets a renewed joie de vivre as it were when he learns that he is destined to be an assassin. Some people might argue with fate or even find it rather distressing that one is predestined to be a killer, but Wesley is game.

Snatched from death by the much-tattooed Fox (Angelina Jolie), Wesley learns that 1000 years ago, a group of weavers became assassins to help balance the natural order (really, I’m not kidding), they train in a textile mill (still not kidding), and they get their orders weaved out for them by the dreadfully named Loom of Fate (not kidding yet, but don’t forget to deepen your voice when you say “Loom of Fate”). This fruit of the loom, as it were (sorry, but it was right there waiting), are the names of those decreed to deserve death.

Wesley was chosen because he has the ability to bend bullets. That is, he can make a fired bullet curve around a solid object and hit the desired target (no, not kidding). Wesley has been unaware of this “gift” until his training takes place. This is in the textile mill, but he isn’t taught to weave.

As ludicrous as all this sounds, the movie isn’t without its entertainment value. James McAvoy (the boy’s been working out!) seems to relish his first action role and has grown miles as an actor since his touching role as the faun, Mr. Tumnus, in The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. There are some truly breath-stealing action sequences, some Matrix-y stunts, and a few moments of genuine humor.

The movie is based on the series of graphic novels by Mark Millar, and I’m sure the volume of blood spilled or gore shown wasn’t as shockingly, well, graphic in them as it is in the, er, flesh. Wanted is very gory. Innocent people, and many many many innocent rats die.  Any true rat lover must not see this movie as the rat carnage is high. However, for those wanting mindless entertainment for 2 hours, there are worse movies.

It was just pointed out to me by my proofreader that the one I am kidding is myself and I actually did indeed hate this movie.  I’m still not convinced of this, but it does prove that I needn’t go looking for a movie that might not get a good review. I’ll find them just the same.